Photography: Christina Simons
Anthony Bourdain has eaten some pretty nasty things on his travels. But it’s not always the gross-out factor of the food that is the problem. “I had a meal in Sydney so fucking awful at a place called Chinadoll. Very trendy, faked out Asian fusion – Just horrible, over decorated, over priced, fake Asian food. It was offensive. And even the name China doll is so fake.”
It’s not that Asian fusion cooking is a problem. “Some people have a real feeling for it. A lot of people probably shouldn’t be doing it. “In fairness you [Australia] do it a lot more gracefully than we do in the states. The chef has at least travelled to Asia, which is not the case in New York I’m sad to say. You are more likely to see good Asian fusion here than just about any other English speaking or country or city.”
The real worst thing he ever ate was fermented shark fin in Iceland. “I like Iceland, I like a lot of the food up there but I was there for this one festival. And it was tough. “It tasted like you had buried your dead grandmother. You buried your grandmother then dug her up in 30 years. She’s tasting pretty ripe.”It’s slimy, it’s putrid. The word is putrid. In Iceland they don’t touch it. They use rubber gloves to handle it and they use a tooth pic to eat it. You immediately chase it with Brennivin [a caraway liquor] so I don’t even think they like it. I think its like a rite of passage, it’s a nationalist patriotic thing to do.”
Even Christina, our Icelandic photographer, winces at the thought of the sharks fin.
Soy milk also makes his shit list. “I don’t like that Soy Milk shit that’s supposed to emulate cheese or milk. It doesn’t. I’m not crazy for vegans.
“Oh, and the chefs that use. Let’s let him tell us: “What is vile and disgusting and the single most overused ingredient in the repertoire of chefs is Truffle Oil. It must be stopped. They are dumping it on shit like (it is) ketchup or XO sauce. They have to be restrained. It doesn’t make things better when you dump truffle sauce in it. It doesn’t make you a chef.
“On his list to eat is the highly illegal Ortolan. He has a connection.
Bourdain says of his travels: “I’m not looking for free food I’m just looking to have a good time. Whatever the locals offer me I eat.”This includes blood cake, headcheese and sheeps’ bollocks.At the other extreme of the spectrum is foie gras, which some people thing extreme itself and is under threat. “I think in our lifetime we’ll see the last of foie gras for all intents and purposes. The good makers hand feed the geese who return to the same feeders who poke a tube down and pour food down.
“It’s not like they nail their feet to a board or anything. I’m not saying they (geese) like it. In the full spectrum of cruelty to animals it’s not anywhere in the top 60. “You know factory farmed chicken is cruel. Dog fighting, cock fighting. We are talking about this and there are thousands of children sold into slavery every year. It seems me they [activists] have better things to do. “When you talk about some of the outrageous things that are done to animals mostly in the name of medicine mostly because Asian guys are worried about their dicks. So if these animal rights activists really wanted to make a real positive change in the world they should raise a lot of money and start giving free Viagra all over Asia. They are paying thousands of dollars for Rhino horn and bear bile and all this nonsense that I am sure doesn’t work.”Anthony Bourdain can talk. Keep reading Tomato for more.Click here for the first five installments
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Isn’t it exhausting to work so hard on being so tragically hip, AB?
QUOTE – The Connoisseur’s Series, The Global Gourmet:
The eating of the ortolan has ethical eating groups baying for blood. First, it is caught with a net in the forest. Taken alive, its eyes are poked out and the bird is put in a small cage. It’s then force-fed oats, millet and figs until it has swollen to four times its normal size. Then the bird is drowned alive in fine cognac. Then, it’s roasted whole, in an oven at high heat, for six to eight minutes. Once it reaches the table, a napkin is placed over the eater’s head. The technique of eating the ortolan is to put the whole bird into the mouth, with only the beak protruding. Here sadism mingles with masochism. The first taste as you crunch on the bird is the brandied flesh and fat. Then, the bitterness of the guts follow and finally, as the tiny, delicate bones are being chewed on, they will lacerate the diner’s gums, with the salty taste of the bleeding gums mingling with the richness of the fat and the bitterness of the organs. Chewing the ortolan takes approximately 15 minutes.
–– The Connoisseur’s Series, The Global Gourmet
Piper, perhaps in that case a tad pretentious too.