Things to do on a wet Saturday night in Melbourne

We finished Friday night with two Bitch Slaps. It was a night trawling some of Melbourne’s secret laneways. Here is the sanitised account of our journey:MOO Basement, 318 Lt Bourke St, Melbourne, VIC 3000 (03 9639 3020) Down little Bourke St and round the corner, down into the basement. This former money order office is yet another of those stylish hidden little places popping up or simply being discovered around the CBD.A wrought iron screen separates the bar from the restaurant. Arrive early for a banquet or red leather chesterfield. All the beer is Lion Nathan though, Becks, James Squire etc.Supper Inn, 15 Celestial Avenue, Melbourne 3000 (03 9663 4759)Down Little Bourke Street and off to the left. As we climb up the daggy stairs a young innocent Chinese girl scores drugs from some white hip hop looking loser below. We are lucky as we are the second party in the queue. The place is packed and we quickly find a table and the feast arrives. Quail, sucking pig, duck, fish, and Chinese broccoli. Everything is good here, authentic and cheap. But you won’t find crispy duck on the menu. As we leave the queue reaches out into the street. This is one of those late night cheffy places that Anthony Bourdain loves so much late at night.Murmur 1/17 Warburton Lane, Melbourne (03 9640 0395) It’s not what you think. We walk up Little Bourke Street and disappear down an unpromisingly alleyway strewn with bins and other debris. Up a steep and decrepit flight of wooden stairs into the upper level of an unrenovated former coffee warehouse. The crane and trapdoor that were used to haul up the sacks of coffee beans are all that separate us from a boxing gym below.Think bare wooden floors, a bar in the corner lit with crystal chandeliers.This joint tends to use 42 Below Vodka in its drinks. The Bitch Slap:They say: This fiery thing with its dominatrix sensibilities of Chilli beaten with Limes, Oranges and Vanilla Monin, shaken with Tequila & Peach Liqueur, and topped with Ginger Beer will leave you startled and yearning for more.We say: It really does slap. Hot, hot , hot. Good, good, good.