Beyond the hype: Longrain

It is David Thompson, now London-based, who is credited with transforming Asian food in Australia. He took the ethnic recipes and ingredients and knocked the rough edges off. He put Thai food on the map in Sydney.
When he left it was Martin Boetz who again honed the art. Since 1999 Longrain in Sydney has been marrying excellent Asian food, a hip warehouse location and Asian-inspired fusion cocktails.
In fact, Melbourne ( 44 Little Bourke St, Melbourne, Vic 3000 +61 3 9671 3151) now has a new challenger for the best Bloody Mary.
He has the eye for detail that means some poor bugger is out the back (in Sydney at least) grating coconut all day.
Now he’s doing the same job in Melbourne.
But with one addition. He is also redefining the door bitch. She is no the butch lesbian with the leather wristbands, but tonight a willowy and sexy women in an obviously expensive floral dress.
We arrive about 7.15pm on a Saturday.
“Any chance for four?”
“It’s a one and a half hour wait”
“Can be wait at the bar?”
“There’s nowhere to sit.”
“Can we wait for a seat?”
And so the censorious doorbitch allows us in. All aren’t so lucky though. If the owners doesn’t like what you write I’m assured you won’t even get this far.
And so we enter and hang around the bar attempting to catch the attention of cocktail staff. Within ten minutes we are seated but soon a women with a big arse is pushing it into our faces.
Two hours and several $14 drinks later we land on a communal table, which is absurdly wide, too wide to talk to of my friends opposite.
I’ll qualify that. I first visited this Longrain for a journalist’s lunch hosted by Yalumba. I had no problem chattering to mainstream media restaurant critic John Lethlean; there were only a dozen or so of us at the table.
When the restaurant is packed it is easier to talk to strangers on the communal tables than the people opposite even if they are your friends.
Once out the bar the service is excellent. We were lucky enough to be served by Bec who I knew from my Iyengar class a few years ago – and at the Birdcage in St Kilda when it was at its peak. Her knowledge of the food was excellent and she steered us toward an excellent Gewürztraminer, which complimented the food.


The Betel leaves look as good as in the above picture.
And so we made friends for the neighbours. He was pissed-off for waiting so long; she didn’t care as long as she was away from the kids.
They let us taste the crispy chicken (which they left because of over ordering) but we ordered this season’s most fashionable cut – pork hock. The slightly larger than bite sized chunks are dry, crisp and caramalized on the outside and succulent inside.

I enjoyed the egg nets stuffed with pork and prawns but it is one against three who reckon there are too many bean sprouts.
Again three against one (me, the curry wallah) on the heat of the green curry of swordfish. But we do all agree that the fish chunks are tough, probably from overcooking.
The thing you need to know is that these dishes are huge. This isn’t really the kind of place catering for supper for two; it favours the group and thus tables for eight or more can be booked.
If two of you do arrive, lobby for two places eating at the bar. Or ensure you sit shoulder to shoulder so at least you can communicate.
My neighbours arrived 6pm one night mid-week and bagged a table for eight and thoroughly enjoyed their night.
We felt like we’d been ground through some moneymaking machine despite one round of drinks and some nuts being left off the bill. We all enjoyed the night and two of us – excluding me – felt underwhelmed by the food, perhaps because of John Lethlean’s hype.
What makes me laugh is that considering the massive investment in refurbishing and fitting out this wonderful restaurant space there is an ashtray plonked outside the door.
If you arrive later in the evening, you’ll be confronted by the tacky scene of smokers hanging around in the street.
Two smokers in our party that night got chatting to chef’s friends outside. Apparently he has been moaning about the quality of the ingredients available in Melbourne. Perhaps this takes the edge off some of the food.
Strangely, his website says that he has been inspired by the local produce. Funny.