The first time I visited The Swallows (192 Station Street, Port Melbourne) this year my giant steak was raw in the middle. Poor buggers, I was reviewing for The Age Good Food Guide. The steak was so large that I didn’t bother to have it reheated. Besides I was about a third of the way through when I discovered this. The service was great that night though.
It was with trepidation that I returned to this pub on Friday night. I needn’t have worried about the steak. I ordered a smaller one that was pink inside. As a steak it was okay, but nothing too special.
Or perhaps I was feeling negative as a crucial ingredient was missing: red wine. We ordered a bottle. Our mains arrive and I sat there for five minutes awaiting the wine. We were then told it was out of stock. We then order something else – a magnum, which was a mistake. It arrives shortly after our plates our cleared away.
Luckily we knew some people on the table next door who lent us some wine for our last bite of steak.
Food Fascist
1. If you are going to serve steak the bloke in the kitchen should know how to cook it.
2. Waiters should be aware of what is happening on a table. If the table has no wine and the food starts arriving something should happen. Pronto!
3. Why the hell do I return to these places and waste my money? It was a mate’s idea.



{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
With two bad experiences with this place, will you bother returning for a third with the hopes that it gets better?
Had a similar experience at the Swallows a couple of weeks ago. Ordered food and wine. The wine came, but by the time our starters had arrived we’d almost finished the bottle. Asked for the wine list to order a second bottle. First bottle now all gone and mains arrive, but still no wine list. Mains now completed and empty plates sitting on the table and the wine list finally arrives. Thanks but no thanks. As well as being bad service, they’ve done themselves out of $60 or so. The food was good, mind you it would have been nice to have been shown the specials board before we ordered. We couldn’t change the order once we saw the board at a neighbouring table. Shame about the place.
The Swallows used to be a lovely watering hole, we especially loved the cellar cull nights. The owners new the business thoroughly and had excellent attention to detail. They had an earnest young chef who knew how to handle the traditional fare.
Unfortunately for us, it changed hands earlier in the year, and now reeks of an owner who has always wanted a pub but hasn’t got the foggiest idea what to do with it. Sadly this has wrecked a number of pubs in the area.
Next time you’re doing Port Melb Pubs, give The Albion – a block down on the other side of the lightrail – or The Cricketers Arms, in Cruikshank Street a bash. We’ve been told that the steaks are also excellent at The Railway Club.
Why is steak stuffed up so often?! I go to vlados or cook steaks at home.
Port Melbn restaurants are a little dissapointing. The Rose Hotel(greek) is pretty good.
Lucky Duck,
Is it because not many of the people who order steak – without exception – in restaurants, seem to lack taste buds? They’re the ones who want it well done and then complain that it’s tough.
Yeah – Port’s a bit pedestrian food-wise, but it does have hidden gems like The Cricketer’s, Omah’s and C’est Bon, but the best Port Melb restaurant has to be The Graham, and the Wine Bar at the back is pretty fine too. It’s been going for years, the team who own it are old pro’s who you’ll find on the floor guaranteeing the high standards of service and the Chef has been there for years – a very healthy sign.
Mmm…chow down!
Ellie, the only reason I went for a second is because my neighbour booked us in.
Tim, I feel your frustration having been through it myself.
Stickfingers, agree with you on the others and there are a few bright spots in Port Melbourne. I agree with Lucky Dick on the Rose and can’t think why we couldn’t get in there. I quite wanted to try the Montague in South Melbourne and we should perhaps have done as scott who know owns it knows how to run a good pub restaurant.