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I have to draw a line and call for an amnesty. The number of ideas and unwritten posts are bankrupting me and I have to wipe them out and start afresh. If you haven’t posted for sometime, why don’t you declare bankruptcy or an amnesty and start again.
This means I won’t be telling you about:
- The gay 50th birthday party where I was wearing the incorrect underwear for the prevailing conditions.
- My round-up of the Food Bloggers’ Banquet because I have to draw the line somewhere and everybody has said it already.
- Raiding the local syringe bank so I could recreate Heston Blumenthal’s perfect roast chicken, with broccoli and roast spuds. It was very moist but so much butter was used, and injected, that I felt a bit sick afterwards.
- My friend who keeps taking me to eat and drink some of the third, fourth and fifth best meals and wines in the world but never the best.
- The same friend, with whom I supply women, cooking up Beef Rossinni in my kitchen. Never have so much meat, foie gras, truffle and butter been in a domestic setting at one time. Needless to say Jak ended up in the recovery position on the bathroom floor. So rich was it that we all felt a bit ill for days afterwards. Even the Martini Monster was unable to take coke that night. Personally I was quite pleased about that as it was all a bit over the top anyway.
- Mixing coffee, chocolate icecream, chilli and cream martinis at 3am with the Martini Monster (drugs not included). The second one was a bad idea and I felt quite ill the next morning.
- The 5am lock-in at the, well, let’s just say it involved gin and the monster.
- Some 13 or 14 reviewes for The Age Good Food Guide, the worst tables, poor service and undercooked meal or, for that matter, the brilliant service fantastic meals and great tables.
- The ten or so reviews for The Gourmet Traveler Food Guide and my bulging waistline.
- Even more bulges and The Golden Plate Awards (you’ll be hearing a lot more about them soon), dubious hygene, deep fried camembert, some really bloody awful fish and a single dark pubic hair on a white lavatory seat.
- How many of the Martini Monsters fags I smoke.
- Grumpy, shouty phone calls from chefs and restaurateurs.
- Heston Bluementhal’s mad scientist and Rayond Capaldi’s cooking demo where nobody could see what he was doing.
- My fear of piles.
- Great steak tartare at The European and perhaps 30 other places I simply didn’t have time to blog.
- More gin experiments including two martini’s that cost $80. And they were half price! needless to say, you know who else was involved.
- Extensive saki tastings
- My journey to establish Belter’s microbrewery in an old belt factory. We were going to make South Melbourne Bitter on contract as well as Wife Belter, Dog Belter and Black Belter.
- The wine group with some sommelier types and, once Jane Faulkner. Lots and lots and lots of talk about brett taint. Of course, each time I made a fool of myself.
- Much, much more.
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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
I think every blogger has a a backlist of stuff they never get around to posting, because it’s important to enjoy life first and blog when you have the time. It’s easy to feel held to ransom by your blog, but lets get real, if you don’t post there’s a zillion other food blogs for people to read.
Ed you’re living large - who cares if you don’t have time to blog about it - enjoy!
If only I was living large although I did on Friday and Sunday and will next weekend. the truth is I’ve been writing quite hard for the past month and couldn’t face my cave in the evenings. Now i’ve time on my hands.
Ed,
What about the readers of blogs don’t you have any sympathy for us? I try to sit down once a week and read all my favorite foodie blogs (yours included) but it is really hard in December having to dine at Press Club and Paris Go last week, this week Fuji and Rockpool how do you expect me to find time to read!!!!
Sally
Hope you had a great birthday! It sounds like you are doing plenty of celebrating.
Mustang, how on earth do you find time to work off all those meals. You can always follow my lead and declare feed reader bankruptcy or simply wait until the January hangover to catch-up.
Kalyn, Thankyou for remembering my birthday but you are exactly one week early. these were just general high jinks spread over nine months or so rather than the past few weeks. I feel I’ve lifted a weight off my mind and shall be back herb blogging.
Sounds like there’s been a fair bit of feeling sick there (o_O) though perhaps considering the events leading up to them, they’re a leeeettle bit warranted?
That’s a whole heap of things we’re gonna miss out on, some of which I’d love to hear more of than these one-line teasers…any chance of more elaboration on some (such as “Mixing coffee, chocolate icecream, chilli and cream martinis at 3am with the Martini Monster (drugs not included). The second one was a bad idea and I felt quite ill the next morning”
That list makes “Kitchen Confidential” sound tame. Nice work Ed!
Hmmm… it seems I am a major contributor to your bankruptcy, Ed!
You forgot to mention my lurid cupcakes at the gay 50th - whcih ended, predictably, with at 5am drinking martinis…
Ellie the MM will be back and I have everything ready in the fridge.
Steve, but with less and softer drugs.
Kylie, they were lurid. But I thought my underwear sounded better. I thought you said it was 6am. Glad I wasn’t there.
Last martini round 4.30am, last dance round 5, then home round 6.
BTW, what was the deal with your underwear?
It was pretty humid. is that enough? We’re not talking chaps.
PS: Does that spoil the story. BTW, the shorts on your dance partner were a nice bit of ironing.
Too bad you’re not going to be telling us about any of those things. Can you also not show us any of the accompanying photos? Especially the one about the underwear….