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They say if you leave a monkey on a typewriter for long enough they will produce the works of Shakespeare.
Similarly if you leave a human being on a espresso machine for long enough and it will eventually produce a decent extraction. The problem is that there is no consistency.
Such is the case at Tre Bicchieri, which came highly recommended from the Rathdowne Cellars (highly recomended for Spanish wine and sherry) newsletter. I suppose they are neighbours on Rathdowne Street - what can you expect?.
The first problem with Tre Bicchieri is the cafe itself. The haughty staff give no indication that you have to physically get up and order from the counter. They are quite happy to leave you sitting there.
The second problem is the coffee. The full fat milk version arrived about ten minutes before the (no, I don’t approve) low fat.
The third is the over extraction of the coffee. Jak calls this tasting burnt. What it means is that either the group is too hot, filled with too much coffee, left to extract the flavour for too long or a permutation of all three. The aftertaste was really nasty and I have now resolved to return all overextracted coffee as I should have done on this day.
While I’m at this I may as well keep kicking - I don’t reackon Tre Bicchieri’s custard filled pastries. They are far to sickly sweet.
Popularity: 21% [?]
March 13th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Glad to see you have been heading over this side of the river some more - I’d be happy to catch up if you are in the neighbourhood. I think you got a bad day, a machine in need of a service or untrained staff because the when I’ve had coffee there it’s been great. I agree about the sweet food (for pastries go direct to Filou’s bakery on lygon st (cnr of Fenwick) they are the best in town.
Have you been to any of the tastings at Rathdowne cellars - always generous and very popular with the locals. The sherry tastings are superb. I think I already waxed lyrical about the very nice champagne tasting I went to last year. (Sheesh no I take that back - they are crowded enough already
March 13th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Maybe it was because it was a Saturday. Rathdowne Cellars is great. Jak tasted some wine and bought it and I bought an exe bottle of Rioja untasted to celebrate the end of Febfast. The good thing is that they aren’t as crowded as The Prince in South Melbourne which is feral with Toorak types barging around. We usually frequent the late Friday arvo tasting in the old St Kilda cellar which is much more low-key. Sometimes they’ll even let a dog in too.
March 13th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
My wife and I have recently discovered “The Latte Line”. It’s a geographical phenomena that occurs south of bridge at Mordialloc. It possess similar to powers to that of the Bermuda Triangle and devours, without a trace, any concept or evidence of a decent coffee.
Living five minutes from the beach is great. But life without coffee is taking some getting used to.
March 13th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
I learnt that years ago, about 99 percent of coffee is either burnt or just plain shit. This is because there are hardly any real barristas out there any more and they’re all just kids who think they can wind a pump without having ever tasted a coffee.
*shakes head*
March 13th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
My side of town!
Tre Bicchieri’s service is by far the street’s least serviceable; you should try the Carlton Paragon, where the food is excellent and the coffee is almost perfect every time. Or just go to Gerald’s Bar, where you can throw peanut shells on the floor, and in fact are encouraged to do so…
March 14th, 2008 at 8:00 am
Steve, you should have moved to Geelong where they ar etrying to claim to be the capuccino coast.
Jess, coffee drinkers a just as bad as the baristas, they don’t know shit. The remarkable thing is that it only takes a few hundred dollars of training. Still though many baristas are to pushed for time and don’t even bother to adjust the grind throughout the day.
Matthew, i like Gerald’s although it is a long way to go for a drink which reminds me that I need to try Handsome Steve’s…
March 14th, 2008 at 8:42 am
Its a shame as Tre Bicheri was good when owner Vince was behind the machine, but no longer. Then he opened Tre Espresso in Brunswick which was also initially good, and is now run by good looking and vacant Gen Y-ers who can’t make coffee and think customer service is a foreign language.
In that strip Ed, I’d recommend North for a good coffee, and the food is interesting as well.
Gerald’s is worth the trip Ed.
March 14th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Ed, my experience at Tre Espresso in Brunswick was similar. Disinterested staff who, though they must have realsised that we were unaware that we had to order at the counter, continued giggling at their in jokes rather than inform us of this. When we finally cottoned on, they were just plain rude.
And the coffee was shit, too.
March 15th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
I left Brunswick & Coburg with my memory of ray & samll block intact. I’m so glad that I’m not there to see those that tag along on their shirt tales offer a lite version of these tralblazers. Like all cutting edge stuff, by the time we all hear about it, its over & so it is with the cafe that spring up in the wake of the colonising cafes
I reackon its got to the stage where some people think anyone can open a cafe & by copying some sort of paint by numbers approach & that they’ll hit pay dirt.
There are very few real innovators & suburban prospectors anymore, its seems every frontier has a beachhead these days. Except of course Preston, now theres a challenge! Never was there a wider chasm than between Northcote & Preston.
March 16th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
It amazes me to make good risotto is a skill, souffle yep not easy but to make a good coffee it is not brain surgery, I think Melbourne Uni needs to add the Barista degree to its repertoire. Went to Tre Biccheri once for a take away coffee, average coffee filled three quarter in the paper cup customer service nothing like the cafe’s in Italy that delight in you drinking that yummy coffee on the way to work stand up, or a quick take away!
Try Rathdowne Street Food Store, Sweet Source across the road or in Scotchmer Street the Corner Store.
March 19th, 2008 at 8:59 am
Ben, I like Gerald’s but haven’t tried North but will put it on my list. Cheers.
Johanna, sounds like it is more than an isolated problem. Let’s hope the owners read this post and lift their game.
Gobbler, I do hear good things about Preston now and then. I can’t remember from who and what exactly, in fact I’m not sure if I’m making sense.
Mustang,I’ll put those on my list too.
March 24th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Wow! Its a lot easier being a critic than running a cafe it seems. I hope all you guys are as perfect at running your lives as you expect cafe’s to operate. I tried the pastries at Tre Bicchieri and they were great, very sweet but that is how they are supposed to be, and the coffee well I guess many people don’t have the expectations of needing to have the palate of a winemaker when they’re drinking their coffee. Hope you find what your looking for but remember everyone has their good days and their bad ones too!
March 24th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Gerard,
Can a cafe afford to be that bad serving coffee that horrible. When you enter there is a contract that the fod and drink should be palatable. The coffee wasn’t. Quite horrible but i probably haven’t emphasised exactly how bad. And it seems more thna a few are with me.