Nice Sydney friends who speak Mandarin and have fairly decent cleavage.
I’ve always like dictatorships. Communism and fascism both share an idealism that when I was younger could have switched me either way.
Of course, now grown-up physically at least I abhor the human rights abuses in China although I wouldn’t be able to ejaculate over my shoulder if it wasn’t for bear bile on tap.
I think we can agree that we don’t like dictatorships, or at least lack of democracy.
We should have sent John Eales, a famous Australian rugby cap I believe, to tackle the Olympic Beijing 2008 torch bearers in their trip through Canberra.
I do find this strange that we didn’t protest.
When I arrived in Sydney in 1996 France was boycotted because of nuclear testing in the South Pacific. You couldn’t find French totty or decent croissants anywhere and I suffered four years without being able to buy a carbon steel Sabatier chef’s knife. All I ate was Yum Cha and Thai.
I suppose in Melbourne we are too comfortable in our safe little world of unaffordable houses, late model (whatever the heck that means) European cars, free air (frankly it would be a bit much if they didn’t pump-up the tyres) and an annual outing to the Flower Drum, allegedly the best Chinese restaurant in the world.
I’ve only been three times to the Drum in six years. Once for business. Once for an impromptu birthday lunch to celebrate some Tiffany Pearls (try E.G.Egetal, it’s much cooler) and my favourite tea cosey wearer’s birthday.
Steamed fish at the Flower Drum: bland and overcooked. Veggies were great though.
Our most recent to the Drum to catch up with five friends, three from out of town, started like this:
Me: “Why the fuck our we going to the Flower Drum?”
Tea cosey: “I think thingy from Perth booked it.”
Me “Why the fuck did she do that?”
Tea cosey: “Could you wipe that off your shoulder?”
We introduce ourselves to a man behind the counter (17 Market Lane +61 9662 3655), which together with a cloakroom and Melbourne’s slowest lift, is all the restaurant will fit downstairs because hidden away are tanks and tanks of fish and small bears.
Upstairs a couple of waitresses are doing good impersonations of Chinese tour guides (they all wear name tags) who guide us through a room that looks like it is set up for a wedding.
Our friends from Perth and Sydney arrive. We relived our four years in Sydney, swapping fags (cigarettes) and eating in what are now nameless restaurants. We popped downstairs to smoke on the Flower Drum’s doorstep returning upstairs in the impossibly slow lift.
The boring bit is the food which we just asked them to serve. Nobody orders off the menu here. Or so our local food dictatorship at Epicure would have us believe.
Soft shelled crab: greasy and not terribly good.
This was a Friday night. The room was packed. But with the tables spaced far apart it lacked the buzz of at least two other more casual places that serve very similar food – Asiana (181 Victoria Ave, Albert Park +61 9696 6688) and most important Lau’s Family Kitchen (4 Acland St, St Kilda, +61 8598 9880) run by Michael and James, the sons of Gilbert Lau who owned the Drum and built its reputation.
Of course, the service at The Flower Drum is much better than these places. My personal waiter was so attentive that every time I gesticulated he poured me water and I knocked his glasses off.
But. And with the prices charged it comes with an astonishingly large fiberglass B, popularly know as The Big B.
The steamed fish was bland and in more than one case overcooked. The soft shelled crab was greasy and probably just there for the sake of it rather than the quality of the product.
In retrospect we should have sent both back. Neither should have left the kitchen. But we weren’t there to posture over the food but to catch up.
I could tell you more about the food. It was all universally good, fresh ingredients served in the westernised without MSG way that good Chinese-style food is served here.
But next time it is to Lau’s Family Kitchen – if we can get a table – where we just ask them to serve us what is good and I’ve eaten better food. And if we can’t get in there it will be Asiana.
I’m not saying the Flower Drum is horrible. I just think it is an anachronism and should be doing better for the prices charged. Come to think of it just better in the case of steamed fish and soft shelled crab.
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Ed, I have been to the Flower Drum once and to Lau’s Family Kitchen more than half a dozen times (not to mention all the times we failed to book and could get in)… do you get my point here?!?!?
Vida x
That should say “could not get in”… really must remember to book EVERYTIME we go, to avoid disappointment… Vida x
What about the tea house (the one in the city, not camberwell)? Much better always good and better value. Also Asiana uses msg.
Vida, exactly. I was talking to Jason the other day who says because you have to book so far in advance that they often get last minute cancelations which means if you call on the day you can get in. Somehow though, and maybe its because of what I do, I always get in.
Jase, I haven’t been to either but they were ex Flower Drum weren’t they? Also I think Channy’s in Albert Park may have been but I haven’t been to that either so I’m only relying on what I’ve heard.
I’ve been to FD twice and both times found that quality of food was not on par with prices, especially given the many cheaper asian eateries aroudn melbourne. I don’t need someone waiting at my elbow for the entire night.
No doubt FD is expensive but at my two recent visits the food has been outstanding.
I’ve given up on soft shell crab no matter where it rarely has any flavour of the crab and just becomes a support for batter, and sometimes some sort of ’sauce’ and I think you might have been unlucky with the fish.
The place is a bit tired but still more pleasant than many others. As for the lift hell most olaces don’t have one at all AND you can always use the stairs!
This is not to detract from Lau or Asiana or anywhere else but I would choose FD over them every time if I was entertaining people of importance.
Try the lobster sashimi if you ever go again
Our friend at Epicure only recently tried a spring onion pan cake. I wouldn’t trust him to review a dim sim.
From his review of Confucius Court in Nov 2007, “Another item he insisted on (instead of rice) was the light, white, pan-fried and slightly risen bread called spring onion pancake (large, $7), something I’ve never seen before.”
Cin, yes I’ve given up on that whole fussy service thing.
Elliott, sadly I don’t get to entertain important people although sometimes they entertain me. But I can still think of many better places to be although Lau’s might not be the place – I may choose Guillaume. We didn’t order these dishes – they were the ones I gave us. And the fact the fish was overdone and the soft shelled crab was on the menu is a big slip in standards.
Tan. Hah! I remember that one now. Love those pancakes. They serve them pretty much everywhere don’t they?Nice ones at David’s in Prahran.
FD is for ’round eyes’ and pretentious Asians. You get better canto-tucker in the burbs like Box Hill, Glen Waverley, Burwood & Springvale. And especially in my parent’s home.
The thing is if you want the real deal of Cantonese Cuisine and linen, go to where there is hardly a westerner in the venue. Ignore much of the menu and ask the head waiter to recommend what’s good. Or look around and point out what other are eating, they won’t mind. If the waiter suggests the fish, make sure you ask ‘How much?’ first – it can often be the priciest item on the menu.
Whenever our Chinese family friends get together in the city for a lavish banquet of abalone, lobster, sea cucumber, crab and all the other good luck sounding stuff, we got to Dragon Boat on the Yarra, opposite Crown at the Convention Centre. It’s the real deal.
You’d think your Sydney friends would at least look happy to be out of the rain, it hasn’t stopped there in six months.
Ed – is your Sydney Friend sending an SMS?
Sticky, we were talking after Jamon about some more blogger dinners. How about you take a group of us round eyed bloggers to Dragon Boat and order off menu for us. Like I said at the Super Inn I’m always jealous of big groups of Chinese ordering off menu.
Neil/Steve I think her Blackberry was waterlogged.
Ed That’s another great idea – what do you think stickyfingers?
Thank you, I’m flattered that you ask. I think it’s a great way to learn more about Cantonese Cuisine. For a group it is traditional to negotiate a menu with the restaurant before the event, in order for them to have sufficient fresh ingredients. We can also then hammer out a price per head.
I won’t be available until late June however, due to a full schedule which will also take me out of the country for a while.
If there is anything in particular that you have always been interested to try, eg. Beche de Mer, Chinese roast pigeon, Shark’s fin, braised abalone, conch meat etc, please let me know. With sufficient notice most Cantonese restaurants are happy to accommodate special requests.
Lets do this then. It sounds exciting and challenging.
Another thumbs down for the Flower Drum – this time from me. I went there a couple of nights ago and was terribly disappointed with the food. Thank god I wasn’t paying, and I don’t think I ever will at that place. We left it in the hands of the chef, and 3 out of the first 4 dishes were deep-fried. Bleccchhh.
The ingredients are good but the treatment of them is horrible. How did it go so wrong?
Agreed. I don’t know any of my friends who would ever recommend FD.
Found this after someone mentioned Flower Drum, and it brought a montage of memories back. Thought it might be worth checking around seeing if anything has changed. Guess not.
When our group finally got there for a birthday, the food was lacking to say the least. We cook better food at home, and there are plenty of the other places that serve better food – for a significantly less painful hit on the wallet.
Over cooked and dry meats, soft and mushy or tough and chewy veggies that were never on the correct side of the scale, and anything fried was more was on the lines of slow cooked in oil until soggy. And service, oh yes the much lauded service. Each time we needed service I had to get up and go get someone.
Better food to the South Easterly directions.