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There are three types of people.There are those who buy expensive d’object like gold-plated Philippe Starck AK47 lampstands and will spend well into five or six figures on interior design.
There are the kind of people who read Ready Made who buy a plastic $30 toy AK47 on ebay, spray it gold and make it into a lamp stand (although unfortunately it illuminates itself to be anything but the original when switched on).
The there are the people who go: “Sod Philippe Starck. Somebody gave me his beautiful and iconic orange juicer (the one that looks like a Tintin rocket) but as it turned out to be useless . It’s about time he retired from designing and I’m very glad he has. Fuck him. I’m not going to follow anyone. I’ll do my own thing. It will cost bugger all and look brilliant. Fuck Philippe Starck”
People with restaurants in Crown fall into the first category (although I note the AK47 is a poor example as there are none in any of the new restaurants that I have seen yet). It’s difficult to go wrong with that kind of budget although some do.
I’m in the second category as anyone who has visited my home will testify (although I’ve yet to locate a cheap toy AK47 in Australia).
And in the third category are the people who run The Panama Dining Room and the very new, very cool and very stylish St Jude’s Cellars, a welcome addition to Brunswick St.
I always thought the clever thing about Panama was how they had made it look so good on the cheap and the value offered by the food. (Although when The Gobbler was in town he wondered if I was tongue in cheek; I wasn’t)
Tonight at St Judes’ I was with James, a builder who will only work for people who have the correct references, went to the right school and have a matching bank account. And even then he’ll probably will go trout fishing anyway.
James reckon St Jude’s looks great and what’s more it’s been done cheaply. It’s clever use of basic materials. And surely it will blossom, sorry about the pun, as vines grow up toward the central skylight.
The wine list is a homage to the current fashionable reign of Spain and Europe in general with a sprinkling of locals. And bottles from the shop can be drunk inside for $15 extra. Some are pricy but if you are into wine it is not completely overt the top.
The only trouble with St Jude’s and The Panama is the consistency of the food. On my first visit to The Panama where a bread salad was like soggy card and some of the food was under seasoned. A subsequent visit with a couple of neighbourly and enterprising lesbians was better, much much better.
And I suspect the kitchen may be the same at St Jude’s. It’s good - I’ve already gone on record about the rabbit cottage pie and the cauliflower cheese making me think “mummy” - but with the odd blooper. In this instance a watery concoction of some not particularly good squid, spinach and chickpeas. James was reasonably pleased with eel and his crock of slow cooked lamb leg and leeks.
Everything was delivered on an attractive wooden board.
I did find the explanation about sharing a bit weird as it seems you order conventional starters and mains and then some extra veg. Needless to say, we didn’t share.
And then there was the trip home. We were rumbled by Jak’s cousin David who fitted out both these joints.
James, a nuggety bloke with a knife scar across one side of his face, is nervous at the best of times at being seen at an out of the way place drinking white wine with another man. I think that may have been what caused him to have a hot flush on the way home and later a run for the loo.
That and the memory of a reviewing trip to Geelong. James was telling me a story about finding, in an out of the way restaurant, a mate with a young Asian guy and exclaiming “gay”.
It dawned on us both what anybody would think stumbling upon us in this pub in what appeared to be a romantic tête à tête. Not only was it an hours drive outside our normal turf, but it was hidden deep in the backstreets of Geelong. It was a quiet and nervous drive home.
As I leave a particularly worried looking James to his favourite porcelain, my mind rewinds back to the point at which we left St Judes. I’m sure I saw a lank haired chef with what I think was a young Asian guy. And yes I did think the wrong thing.
Food Fascist
- Am I and my friends really all homophobic?
- Do I really have to be so picky?
- In addition to the designer I should declare I’m friends with the wine list person?
- Er, that’s it.
Popularity: 37% [?]
April 17th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Perhaps you are, but it may also be attributed to the fact that it is now “in” with the threethousand crowd (read: androgynous, jobless, cashed up 20-something year old hipsters).
April 17th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Jess, I didn’t realise Threethousand had such a crowd. I must keep my eyes open. We certainly don’t look androgynous
April 17th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
So it’s good then ?
April 17th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Matt, yes but the issue is consistency I think. Good wines by the glass and I think a spot although I didn’t see anyone androgynous but that may have changed. Of course, it was in The Age the other week so it could be an androgynous Age crowd. BUt don’t expect fine dining. It’s rustic - and don’t try the squid/chickpea thing. Of course, you could try The Panama on Smith St which is a wonderful space and possibly has an edge because of its top floor location.
April 18th, 2008 at 7:41 am
I’m not concerned about any alleged homophobia, just hoping you meant ‘mummy’ in a good clean way.
April 18th, 2008 at 8:34 am
Neil, to be truthful it was in that Hugh Grant way in Bridget Jones’ Diary when he sees her big knickers.
April 18th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
‘Androgynous Age crowd’??
April 18th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Well, Lethlean wrote about it the other week which usually pulls in the crowds. So if the crowd was adrog I figured it was an Androg Age crowd.
April 18th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Oh god, I should have never mentioned the “a” word.
April 18th, 2008 at 11:16 pm
So how long should we wait until they manage consistency?
April 19th, 2008 at 12:01 am
Duncan, this is the problem with cheaper places and if they read blogs I hope they get the message. trouble is though St judes isn’t quite as good value as Panama. Maybe a roughing up in the newspapers may bring them into shape but I’m not sure that’s their priority - more the ground of the Philippe Stark types which i part of the reason many of us go to those types of places.
April 24th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
A terrible place. If you enjoy dressing casually on the weekend i.e. jeans and t shirt and want a quiet drink don’t go here - the wait staff are not very welcoming.
April 25th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Hmmm… I found St. Judes really hit and miss. Some of the dishes were delicious and warming (rabbit pie and the brussel sprouts) and others were a bit bland…
My big gripe was the over helpful waitress who ruined my meal. She described everything on the menu as “really good”, constantly asked us if we were enjoying our meals, touched me on the arm to ask me if I would like another glass of wine while I was in the middle of talking to my fellow dinners, stuffed up our order and stuck her nose into our conversations.
April 27th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
John, what on earth were people wearing?
Tan, I think that’s my message: the food is hit and miss. I haven’t found the staff that annoying although now you mention it they did seem pretty inexperienced and some strange things happened.
May 7th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
That’s a question I can’t answer so I won’t be going back.
May 8th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
I went to St Jude’s for a late lunch today - when we arrived everyone else in the place appeared to be aged over 50 years! Well, the diners anyway. Felt strange for Bruns St but then I figured it must have been the review in the Epicure this week (of which we were unaware). The staff were young and a bit haphazard (eg we were only given a spoon each to eat our desserts).
The menu, which they describe as for sharing, is still shaped too much around starters/mains/desserts; there are even vegetable sides. It was a bit confusing - maybe they are trying to hedge their bets. The portions are on the stingy side, and the baby squid with chickpeas was too liquidy to share easily. Bread came out in a tiny ‘one slice per person’fashion. The food was fine I guess. The clove creme brulee with vanilla poached pear was the only thing we ate that really stood out.
I’m going to G.A.S tomorrow night for dinner - am hoping there that I find that spark of hospitality and generosity that I think St Jude’s is missing . . .
May 24th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Ok how many commented actually live in walking distance? OR maybe in biking distance? Well if you really get into the wines you wont drive home. This is a place for locals. All the snobs from far away just go to your local where you are as you only ruin the place. Tourists. Wear a chic suit or a glam frock cut to personal style and the wait staff are fabulous. Jeans are for masses.
The food is 5 stars (and im vegetarian). The secret is to order something of everything and mix it up. So for a 4 person meal. 3 starters. 3 or 4 mains then every vegetarian side you can get. The result with a bottle from the celler then by the glass is one of the best meals in Melbourne.
Im carlton i can walk there its a harder walk home. Good to see fresh air on Brunswick +1 id support them. In fact i plan on having my next meal there (been once for a drink and snacks ala Japan fashion. Once for a blow out lunch). Highly recommended - leave attitude at home but pack extra style.
May 25th, 2008 at 10:41 am
Kirsty, I suspect that’s the Epicure effect.
Rule of bookz, who drives anyway when it’s only a short taxi or tram ride home. You’re being a bit generous describing the food as 5 stars though. Sure it’s good hearty stuff and the wines are great.
May 26th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
What I found hard to deal with was the attitude of the matre’d.
We were interested in what they were trying to achieve, and he stopped by a few times to chat, but told us on at least three occasions that they were a “restaurant, not a wine bar” - even though we were sitting at a bar trying to eat a meal. I live local and felt that he really shouldn’t be trying to tell me how to intepret the place. We will intepret the venue as we see fit thanks very much - you can manage it as much as you like, but at the end of the day, if you are going to call yourself and cellar and have a huge long bar, people (particularly locals) are going to come in and have a drink and a snack on their way home.
The food was intersting and good, but a bit meagre on the portion sizes.
It’s a shame because I really like what they have going on there - but I’m not sure where the attitude comes from -maybe I have to wear an “I live local” badge to get some love from them? I have to find somewhere to take some friends from New York this week - and would love to take them to St Judes as it says a lot about a new revitalised Brusnswich St, and that is why I was casing it out in the first place. But I daren’t do it now for fear of being treated with disdain.