Verge(ing) on the foamy, liquified ridiculous

Verge (warning! annoying music), 1 Flinders La, Melbourne 3000 +61 3 9639 9500

Verge, a designer space with worn stairs and edges of its designer pepper grinders, is the ultimate food photography challenge. I can’t say the low lighting is a gimmick, just bad design. A design so bad that none of us can read the menu. We had to request a spot light to be pointed in our direction and still the shadows made it difficult to read.

What is a gimmick is most of the food on the menu, full of foams, gels, emulsions and foams. And nothing on the menu shouts out “eat me”.

We started with half a dozen dressed oysters ($21). Nothing wrong there.

Phew! No foam: Zensai moriawase

The Zensai moriawase, assorted Japanese hors d’oevres ($18/$23) which seems to have been advertised for sharing is not designed for that. The presentation was plain and nothing on the plate really appealed in flavour or texture.

My Mulloway ($36) was good. But Twidow and Melbournebitter were grimacing at Lamb rump, braised shoulder tortellini, baby leek, blackfungi, liquid olive ($36). Assaulted by foam, the lamb was okay, the variation on the Ferran Adria sperified olive unpopular and the tortellini tough and dry.

Main course foam and a liquid olive: Lamb rump, braised shoulder tortellini, baby leek, blackfungi, liquid olive

Twidow then does something unheard of. She complains. She says she didn’t like the dish describing all its faults. Later it is removed from what becomes a $457 bill.

The Rolled rabbit loin, yuba, herb spatzle, vegetables, celeriac puree, chestnut ($35) is, however, declared the best of the three dishes.

It was around this point that we wanted another bottle of the very enjoyable Delatite Riesling ($55) which was now out of stock.

Superb:Rolled rabbit loin, yuba, herb spatzle, vegetables, celeriac puree, chestnut

By now it is late. The crowds are thinning and we are offered dessert in the front window, overlooking Treasury Gardens.

As they do – and I find it annoying – twidow and Melbournebitter go out for a fag just before the desserts arrive. I’m about to text them but our waiter says he told them. In fact, perhaps losing patience with our quibbles, he grabbed Melbournebitter’s arm and her mood slides.

The winning dessert: Warm spiced cumquat pain perdu, quince parfait, soy caramel, carbonated mandarin

The desserts ($15) all look appealing and we matched them to a Crittenden Moscato ($45). The winner was “warm spiced cumquat pain perdu, quince parfait, soy caramel, carbonated mandarin”.

Spot the liquid grape: pineapple and coconut terrine, liquid grape,malted milk, basil

The gelling agent was set like rubber in the the “pineapple and coconut terrine, liquid grape, malted milk, basil”. The yoghurt and Rhubarb “sphere”, papaya, caramalized white chocolate was unmemorable.

Dessert foam: yoghurt and Rhubarb “sphere”, papaya, caramalized white chocolate

At this point I was starting to become uncharitable, probably because of the pretentious table next to us were unwittingly playing some kind of artspeak buzzword bingo. Though the “chocolate ganache, doughnut, chestnut, popcorn, tonka bean ice cream” was perfectly edible I felt an overload of some kind of gelling agent and that the chocolate looked like it quite possible had been extruded from the popcorn styled as an arsehole on my plate.

Edible: Chocolate ganache, doughnut, chestnut, popcorn, tonka bean ice cream

Not everything is awful here and the wine list is good. But I came away with the feeling that everything was just a bit tired at Verge and that it is in need of a refresh. I had heard good reports. But also some bad (also check comments). I wonder if one of the owners, Simon Denton, is distracted because he is opening a pub-style Japanese Izakaya on the corner of Little Collins and Russell Street.

For nearly $500 I expect something better. That’s an evening and a decent whack of money that I’ll never get back.

Photography postscript
Darkness is a nightmare for food bloggers who live on the cutting edge of guerilla low light photography in restaurants. My three year old Ricoh GR Digital – with it’s amazing 1cm macro – has a f2.4 aperature often doesn’t cut it.

I upgraded my lens on my other Olympus Digital SLR to a Sigma 30mm f1.4, which is what I took these pics with. One of the challenges is getting used to a longer focal length than the GR as well as the low lighting at Verge.

The latest iteration of the Ricoh GR Digital III, with the same amazing macro feature, comes with a f1.8 lens, ideal for most restaurant conditions. It comes with aperture and shutter priority and a very simple intuitive menu and controls.

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Tagged as: Dalas Cuddy, Flinders Lane, Simon Denton, Verge