The English want to watch football. The Spanish bullfighting. They scream and shout at each other. Hair is pulled. Somebody spits in another’s face.
The police arrive wearing their funny hats and, worrringly, with machine guns.
Such are the memories of some pretty dreadful tapas and raciones in Spain, Benidorm to be precise.
Much of the same rubbish has now come to Australia, although thankfully we don’t have to sit through the “Full English Breakfast” the morning after.
Ever since Movida became popular any bod who’s heard of Chorizo thinks they could open a tapas bar.
They can’t. Or at least if they do I often end up leaving the food and getting plastered on tinto, which is usually delicious despite coming from Alicante, up the road from Benidorm.
I’m banned from mentioning many of these places for undisclosed reasons but that needn’t get in the way of the rest of this story.

I want to tell you about one tapas place that is worth visiting, Anada on Gertrude Street.
The pedigree of the owners include Movida and Moro in London. If you haven’t heard of the Moro’s two Sams, what personality they lacked at last year’s Food festival their food makes up for. Their cookbooks - The Moro Cookbook and Casa Moro - are among the best I own, far better than The River Cafe (where one of Anada’s owner’s worked).
What Anada brings to Spanish food from the Moorish end of Spain, attention for detail and innovation.
The tapas - small plates as they are defined - are tiny but only cost from $2.50 for a crouton topped with Syrian lentils to $6 for some olives that are handpicked, no doubt by virgins.
I thought the boquerones, white anchovies, speared together with palm heart and pickled chilli was an especially refreshing innovation on a warm night and worth every one of the three single dollars it cost.
The raciones are cheaper than a starter in most restaurants. I dare not compare the $15 crisp fried rabbit with alioli (that’s Spanish for a sort of Aioli which in turn is French for a sort of garlic mayonaisse) to KFC. But it did remind the Martini Monster of goujons. It doesn’t actually matter because they were tasty and moist.
It is here the Moorish influences show. The slow roasted beetroots ($6.50) are served with Nigella seeds and labneh (strained yoghurt).
The kebabs, served with labneh, are very good although we thought the grilled lamb, although tasty, was a touch fatty.
I lost track of how many individual plates we ordered but it was pretty good value. For four or more you can order ten for $44.
Perhaps the best thing about Anada was recognising a friendly face.
“It’s the cheese guy,” the Martini Monster declares. That would be Ryan who we first met at The Commoner and is a cheese expert who takes her bawdy language in his stride.
Whenever he comes near our table “The monster” launches into what I pick as a dissertation on Chaucer, in particular the Nun’s Priest’s Tale. Her special interest is in Chauntecleer - a big cock that “fethered Pertelote twenty time”. At least that’s the story I’m sticking to.

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