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It’s not something people talk about a lot but whenever I bring up phố there is enormous interest about where to eat it. People are always interested in the best places to eat in Victoria Street Richmond. When they hear I have a list of the best local phố restaurants from a phố expert in Sydney their notebooks and PDAs come out as they copy out the list.

I discovered the “I Love Phố” exhibition that was held in Liverpool in NSW through Noodlepie, a blog with a distinctly Vietnamese slant. Cuong Phu Le, curator of “I Love Phố” was hoping to take his exhibition that covered poetry, art, installations, recipes and the food itself national and international (If Matt Preston is reading you should bring it down for the food festival). A 64 page booklet was produced which really is an amazing homage to the noodle soup.
The only thing missing is a podcast (I may just put one together) on how to pronounce phố.
About a year ago I was about to fly out to Hanoi and I was filled-in on the minute detail of hoe to pronounce what I was told is “feu”. My language was hi-jacked by f**dies who thought they knew how to pronounce it but didn’t.
I successfully ordered my first phố in Vietnam, in a small hotel in the old town, only acheived by simply ticking a box on a slip. I sat with my back to the window and didn’t see the kitchen hand negotiate the early morning traffic of thousands of mopeds and bicycles with a tray of the soup. I was eating street food and a love affaird with it started. I dumped my guidebook realising that the best food was on the street.All I had to do was follow the crowds of locals and the best food in Hanoi would be mine. Of course, it wasn’t that simple. Try ordering “pho” or “feu” and you aren’t going to come away with much as I discovered phố isn’t pronounced that way.

Anyway, it is a little easier to order the soup in Melbourne and for the record these are the places I was recomended. Is there any restaurant missing from the list?

Pho Dzung Tan Dinh
208 Victoria St
Richmond 3121 VIC
Phone: (03) 9427 0292
Pho Dzung City Noodle Shop
234 Russell Street
Melbourne VIC 3000
Phone (03) 9663 8885
Pho Bang Restaurant
71 Alfrieda St
St Albans VIC 3021
Phone (03) 9356 0930
Pho Bo Ga Mekong Vietnam
241 Swanston Street
Melbourne VIC 3000
Phone (03) 9663 3288
The Pho Chu
69 Main Rd West
St Albans VIC 3021
Phone (03) 9356 0188

The Pho Chu
92 Hopkins St Footscray 3011
(03) 9687 8265

Popularity: 20% [?]

We are a coffee granule free zone. But I do have half a kilo of some stuff that passed out of a Weasel’s backside. At least in Vietnam they call it weasel. It is a civet and the beans are poohed out, it having eaten the coffee berries. Some poor bugger collects the droppings and (hopefully) washes them before roasting. It makes a very, very dark coloured bean and a very strong dark coffee. J says it even tastes of poo.
I don’t know why we should become all uptight at drinking weasel poo coffee. After all there isn’t actually any poo in the grind (again hopefully).
Chef Fergus Henderson (who’ll be bringing his schtick to Melbourne soon for a winter food festival) made his name feeding us tripe. Yep, he’s the man who made pigs’ arse holes posh. So poo should not be something we are shy in dealing with.
I can still remember my first coffee in Hanoi, made with one of those tiny drip filters. It was very dark and strong and chocolately. The weasel is stronger, better toned with the addition of condensed milk. J reckons it’s horrible but my coffee obsessed neighbour still raves about it.
That I don’t buy coffee granules will be no surprise to anyone familiar with my views on tea bags. It does, however, surprises tradesmen (aside from my fleur de lis monogrammed velvet slippers) who also have to put up with home made vanilla-flavoured sugar in their coffee.
I never thought myself as a coffee fascist and I can live without the drop. But when I drink it I want it to have flavour and bite. Being a late morning person coffee is the drug I choose as a morning kick-start.
In my early days as a journalist we had strong drip coffee, usually from a pre-ground vacuum-packed container. By late afternoon the coffee was approaching the consistency of treacle and only a filter less Galois bummed from a colleague could cut through the taste.
It was around that time I discovered the concept of cappuccino and espresso on Wardour and Old Compton Streets and around. These Italian variations of coffee sufficed for nearly ten years (alongside the occasional shot of Greek – or Turkish, depending on your politics).
At the last count I had seven coffee makers at home. There’s the very old octagonal espresso machine, you know the ones. There’s the cheap home espresso machine that makes a perfectly decent drop, the plunger, two Greek coffee and stainless steel drippers picked up in Vietnam.
I bought the last two in Saigon at the Ben Thahn Market because I became obsessed with Vietnamese coffee. The first cup I drank(in Hanoi) was very dark and chocolately and soon, with condensed milk added too, I was hooked.
I know I have said this about the food but the cheaper the joint in Vietnam, the better the coffee. Visit a European style hotel and they will try and palm off European style coffee, which is a great shame. (although it is better than Africa where anything other than Nescafé is impossible to find).
Using a Viet-style dripper is fairly similar to an espresso machine. The important thing is that the coffee should be tamped to give it a smooth surface. Any break will mean water will leach through without grabbing enough of the flavours.
On special days I add sickly sweet condensed milk. Home brand seem to do well although it does come in a tin rather than a tube. While the tube seems convenient it is difficult to squeeze from straight out the fridge.
The tin, however, one opened jizzed (actually this spill is what I understand some of my comment spammers refer to as bukkake) all over the worktop. The sticky stuff is really, um, sticky and somehow I did get some in my hair.
I keep my condensed milk in a jam jar in the fridge. Each morning I go through the jizz ritual before relaxing into that deep poo aroma. I’m that relaxed that I may even invite a medium-sized dog up to lick up the mess. That’s the condensed milk, if you’d forgotten.

Popularity: 14% [?]

“Like dried baby goat. Or perhaps - I know - like veal, like the veal of a baby suckling calf, only drier.” This is how Princess Mary of Denmark’s royal father-in-law Prince Henrik describes dog meat.
The Hairy Bikers couldn’t decide whether it tasted like Pork or Duck.
J warned me off this delicacy so I can’t tell you what I thought of the taste. I may have eaten it without knowing. I just don’t know. What I can tell you is that it is a very rich meat and not good for you if you have arthritis or gout.
Anyway, there I was walking through the market and these carcasses were piled up. I just wanted to get away. Hence the poor photo. There are many better ones here taking you through the whole ritual.
Eating dog is a way of life in Hanoi. Ten kilometers north of the city is Pho Nghi Tam, a 1km stretch of about 60 dog meat restaurants. This places buzzes towards the end of the lunar month when the locals eat dog for good luck (conversely it’s bad luck at the beginning of the month).
Back in the Old Town our waitress tells us that when she’s had bad things happens she’ll go out with her friends and eat dog. And then she feels good.
Should we feel sorry for the dogs? Well, they are bred on farms like farm animals, not domestic pets. They are killed quickly with a knife slasing the throat.
And that’s better than cats get. They are dumped, live into boiling water.
Yeow!

Popularity: 6% [?]

How much should you pay for wine? Or let’s put it this way: How much more than the cost of food should wine be?
In Melbourne the cost of a main course in a restaurant is fast catching up with the cost of wine. If I’m feeling poor I may spend $40 to $50 on a bottle in a restaurant. Feeling rich and I may double the figure. To put this into context in the kinds of restaurants where I’m spending these amounts, mains can cost $30 to $40.
So there I was in Vietnam hunched in the street on a small plastic stool the size of a potty. The food cost about $1.40 (15,000 Dong) a dish. The bottles beer – Tiger, Hanoi, Saigon, Larger – cost an equal amount.
When I could, I’d eat where Fresh Beer is sold. That’s a local made keg beer costing more like 20 cents (2,000-3,000 Dong) a glass. The great thing about it (in 25 degree heat and 80 per cent humidity) is that it is not as gassy or strong as bottled beer. But it’s cold and has bite and flavour. I think it’s a real winner.
But sometimes you just want something other than beer. Imported French, South African, South American or Australian wines cost $20 to $30. This was in restaurants where each serve may cost $3 or $4. It’s great fresh tasting flavoursome food but I couldn’t bring myself to paying a multiple of five or six for some pretty ordinary vino.
Nobody says anything good about Vietnamese wine made from grapes. They are experts at making their very strong almost vodka like rice wine. But grapes?
Everybody I spoen to about the wine assumed the wine would be very sweet and sugary. But it isn’t. We started drinking both the dry red and white Dalat ( a local hill station and honeymoon destination) for $6 or $7 a bottle.
It’s no grand cru. But they have made a reasonable stab at making an acceptable table wine, much in the genre of the French vin de table.
It is better served with food and matches well with those fresh lemongrass, mint/basil type flavours.
Remember you don’t have to drink Australian wine wherever you go.

FOOD FASCIST

How I should buy wine:
1. In bulk (obviously not in restaurants)
2. From boutique wineries
3. From local regions
4. The best at the cheapest price
5. From recommendations
6. Especially recommendations from the waiter.
7. From a local boutique bottle shop

How I really buy wine:
1. By the bottle
2. Because I like the label
3. Because it won loads of awards according to the label
4. Because it’s expensive
5. Because it’s from a big reliable winery (like McDonalds is a big reliable hamburger maker)
6. In a panic while we order food
7. From a massive chain.
8. Because it’s from Burgundy
9. To show off

Popularity: 11% [?]

France is best known for its frogs and snails. But the industrialisation and development of mass agriculture means you’d be lucky to find a French frog or snail in the shops nowadays. You’ll be eating the common or garden eastern European varieties.
Or you could visit Vietnam. Pretty much everywhere has live frogs in the market either tied together or in a net. And snails roam fairly free too.
I’m waiting for the night train to Hanoi in Lao Cai, nestled on the Chinese border. I don’t to give you the name of the café facing the train terminal because, again, it doesn’t really matter where you eat. All places are very much the same.
The frog came sliced thin slices with a cucumber and tomato salad, flavoured with lemon grass and local herbs.
It was fresh, delicate and delicious.
Fast forward a fortnight and I’m with a plate of snails in Saigon. I’m used to sitting down with the French variety, stuffed with garlic, herbs and butter.
I plump for the local seasonings, which I’m starting to rave about.
And then they arrive. A pile of maybe two dozen of these rubbery rather large buggers – about the size of a squash ball.
And I mean rubbery. Tasty yes. Looking like a bogie hanging off a toothpick, yes. But tender no.
These I chewed and chewed until I sucked all the flavour out of them. They were just too large, too numerous and too rubbery.
But I did enjoy them. A contradiction, Moi?

Frog salad in Cao Dai

Popularity: 8% [?]

We’re a short drive from the Chinese border. Chris, from Sydney, reckons Sa Pa reminds him of a French ski resort. And the more I think about it, he’s right. The hotels have that French chalet feel. Sa Pa is at 1650m, the base high of ski resorts like, um, Courchevel 1650.
And then I woner up the road, up the steps with the water buffalo (see previous post) and enter Baquette & Chocolat ̣(đ Thac Bac). It is just like one of those alpine cafés and even is full of French people eating croissants, French pastries and, of course, baguettes (as well as local dishes)
There are modern wicker sofas surrounding an unlit ;-( log fire. It all feels very French.
The best thing about this joint is that you can hog all the grub and still feel good about it. Baguette & Chocolat is a training school for the disadvantaged, as is its sister restaurant in Hanoi.

Popularity: 6% [?]